What Does it Mean to be a People of Welcome?
Curtesy of Soul Matters Sharing Circle – UU Theme Based Ministry Resources
Welcoming is most often associated with “bigness.” We speak about “expanding the circle” and making more room. We talk about make ourselves larger through the practice of welcoming in new experiences and new ideas. But there is also the work of becoming smaller. And sometimes that is the even more important work.
For instance, those of us who are white are learning that true welcoming of diversity just can’t happen until we shrink and de-center our voices. We also know that expanding community and welcoming newcomers requires right-sizing our needs and putting our preferences second. Welcoming regularly involves the smallness of humility and willingness to listen and learn. The great spiritual teachers remind us that the key to feeling at home in the universe is seeing ourselves as a tiny but precious part of a greater whole, rather than believing that the whole world revolves around us. Downsizing and living simply allows us to welcome in more experience, adventure and peace. And, of course, there’s also the work of downsizing our egos enough to admit mistakes, ask for forgiveness and welcome in the work of repair.
Bottom line: There is a deep spiritual connection between the smallness of self and the expansiveness of relationship. It’s a curious and wonderful truth: the road to widening the circle often starts with limiting our own size. By becoming “smaller,” we paradoxically are better able to welcome in and receive the gift of “more.”
We Welcome All Who Welcome All
Rev. Sara LaWall
Being a welcoming community has become part of our theological identity as Unitarian Universalists. We strive to create spiritual community expansive enough for a variety of personal and religious identities to feel at home and experience the kind of deep welcome that allows for difference–difference of opinion, belief, expression, identity and more. And yet, we know this is no easy task. To truly embody welcome, we must make space for our own discomfort and give voice to the power and of a diverse community; opening ourselves up being transformed by the gifts all of us have to offer this world and one another.
As I write these words, I am deeply saddened to hear that the President’s announcement to dismantle the DACA program (Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals) is imminent. This decision impacts the lives of more than 800,000 young people who only know this country as home, effectively telling them, you are not welcome here. This is just one of many policy decisions that have sent the message that there are limitations to our welcome and to the definition of what it means to be an American. These actions, born out of fear, exclusion and racial/ethnic/cultural superiority, are antithetical to our UU principles of inherent worth and dignity; justice, equity, and compassion; and liberty for all. As Unitarian Universalists, we have taken a clear stand on immigration as a moral issue and this recent announcement (click HERE to read more). As UUS, our understanding and practice of welcome call us to open our arms take action. To make your voice heard (click HERE).
And, in the midst of all the national issues and tensions around identity and belonging, I have cannot help but wonder, are there limitations to our welcome (as UUS)? Are there certain people who would not be welcome among us? Are there implicit (and explicit) messages we send that are unwelcoming? Does our feeling of safety and security take precedence over our practice of welcome? Would we throw open our doors and offer Sanctuary to an undocumented immigrant? How well do we truly welcome people of color? Those in the transgender community? What about Christians and other theists? How well do we welcome those experiencing addiction or homelessness? What about Republicans? These questions are important ones to consider as we all work to deepen our spiritual practice of welcome. Ultimately we must ask, how well do I welcome difference and how do I approach my own discomfort with a sense of curiosity and self-examination?
I believe, however, there is a difference between welcome and fit. While we must strive to welcome anyone who seeks a spiritual community among us (regardless of differences) we also offer clarity about who we are and what we value. As my colleague, Rev. Nancy Palmer Jones says, “We are here to make love visible in the world. If you are here to join us in that commitment–welcome!” Recently, the First Unitarian Congregational Society, Brooklyn NY produces a video for a social media campaign #ThisIsMyReligion. They expressed their welcome in these terms, “A countercultural vision of a world where religion can be a powerful force for good that unites us instead of divides us.” (view the video below).
In other words, “We welcome all who welcome all.” May it be so.
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This is My Religion
produced for First Unitarian Society, Brooklyn, NY |
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Message from Your President
Matthew Sabin
Greetings BUUF,
In the last few weeks I have had the pleasure of working with a youth in our congregation who needed a mentor of sorts to discuss the UU faith, and a Leader of sorts to interview. Our discussions have deepened my understanding and my questions have multiplied.
On faith: I am now more sure than ever that UU kids turn out to be some of the best adults (admitting that I might be slightly biased of course).
On leadership: I have a better understanding of what it means for me, and to at least one congregant to be a leader in the church.
Catch me at coffee after the service and I will be happy to expound on my opinions of our youth and/or leadership.
One of the questions in the interview was pretty easy: How is the church governed? I drew a diagram from our current reference manual (Governance and Ministry by Dan Hotchkiss) showing the Congregation at the top, calling the Minister and the Board below with staff, task forces and committees underneath getting the work done.
The second question was less simple: “What does the Board do?” – this question, I’ve been asked many times in the last year by the way – I decided that the simplest way to answer that was to launch into an analogy. Likening BUUF to a ship sailing the seas and assigning functions on the ship to various staff, volunteers, and committees.
At first I tried to put the Board at the helm, but that didn’t make enough sense – I’m not sure Rev. Sara goes in that spot of my analogy either, but she’s a better fit that myself as President or the Board. Next I tried to fit the Board into several other spots and finally figured we might really best fit as a group of passengers on the fantail trying to observe the ship and it’s course over the seas – offering our opinion.
The youth interviewing me came to my rescue and we went for a different take on the analogy. He pointed out that the ship was too much like traditional government models, where you would put the President or Minister at the top (as Captain) and have them direct everything below. My drawing showed the Congregation at the top and the Board and Minister in the middle.
New analogy: BUUF is a flotilla – lots of little boats traveling together on the seas. The Board isn’t at the top directing anything, nor are we at the back trying to figure out where we’re going. We’re roaming about the flotilla checking on all the boats, making sure they have what they need to move along.
At the end, the youth commented that he “still didn’t know what the Board does,” and I’m not sure I can explain it any better. Just know that the Board is watching where we’re going, where we’ve been and taking care of the flotilla.
(The other analogy I was tempted to use had something to do with herding cats, but you all know where that one goes)
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September’s Plate Partner:
The Community Center
The Community Center (TCC) is committed to uniting the LGBTQA community through educational and developmental programs. As well as, providing resources for individuals new and old to the LGBTQA community for education and find much needed support.
Founded in December 1983, The Community Center is the only facility in Idaho exclusively devoted to the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender (LGBT) and allied population.
The Community Center (TCC) provides a safe and welcoming location for group meetings and social activities for youth groups, LBGT support groups, women’s and transgender groups.
TCC is a non-profit 501(C) 3 organization.
TCC is committed to uniting the LGBT community through educational and developmental programs such as:
- Information and support to employers and organizations with a desire to encourage diversity.
- A regularly updated referral directory for medical, counseling, and legal assistance.
- Information for LGBT individuals considering relocation to Idaho
25% of the unpledged plate offering will go to this cause. If you want a 100% to go to The Community Center, write Social Justice on the memo line of your check, or use the contribution envelopes in the seatback pockets and mark Social Justice.
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Our Congregational Covenant
At our annual meeting in May, voted to adopt a congregational covenant–a first for this community. A covenant is a sacred contract expressing our shared promises with one another about who we are and how we treat one another. We are a faith tradition rooted in the practice of covenant in place of any particular creed or dogma. In place of a prescribed set of beliefs, we affirm a set of shared promises. You can read the full-text of the covenant HERE.
The Covenant Task Force that helped create this document along with the board see this covenant and a living document. We want it to become part of who we are as a community. We will be sharing it and offering opportunities to reflect upon it in various ways throughout the year, including in our worship services.
These promises in this covenant represent our highest ideals and aspirations. We recognize that as humans we may not always live up to them and hope these promises will serve as a guidepost to lovingly call one another back into covenant.
Covenant Support from the Committee on Ministry
The Committee on Ministry serves to uphold and assess all aspects of the congregation’s ministry against our vision and mission. This committee pays attention to the ministry of the congregation in the broad sense — how well the congregation is ministering to its members, the surrounding community, and the world — its professional ministers(s) being only part of the effort. Members also serve as a reflection group for the minister.
Your Committee on Ministry (CoM) meets monthly to reflect with Rev. Sara about the congregation’s ministry; its vision and mission. This committee pays attention to the ministry of the congregation in the broad sense — how well the congregation is ministering to its members, the surrounding community, and the world — its professional ministers(s) being only part of the effort.
As our Congregational Covenant was forming, the CoM agreed to take on the role of facilitating a conflict resolution process for issues that adversely affect the congregations’ ministry, particularly those challenges that arise when our covenant with one another has been broken. Our covenant includes the following: “We covenant to seek assistance with the resolution of disagreements when a mutually satisfying outcome cannot be agreed upon”. The committee seeks to support all of us to fully live-into this covenant together. Your Committee on Ministry is the place to go if you are having a struggle, especially after talking directly with the person.
Here are some best practices and guiding questions the CoM will employ:
The CoM will act objectively in proposing processes for redemption and reconciliation. The CoM will engage in conflict and adversity management but is not responsible for resolution of conflicts. The CoM will endeavor to facilitate the active participation of the parties involved in the creation of conflicts or issues in the resolution process, as the CoM is not a “policing committee” nor means of triangulation. The CoM is the place to help reflect together on the central questions of living out our covenant, “Am I actually trying to live the principles and values of Unitarian Universalism by acting with compassion, respect and a high value of our interdependence? Am I willing to be an active participant and to work in good faith to clear up issues? Am I willing not to be right? Am I willing to be changed? Can I remember to ask the question, ‘What is the most loving thing I can do or say right now?’ ”
Committee on Ministry Members
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Exciting Happenings in Religious Exploration for Children and Youth
Emmie Schlobohm, Director of Religious Exploration
Our plans for the upcoming church year in RE are ready to launch! We are updating and transforming our ministries with children and youth and their families. As always, we strive to provide vibrant and soulful opportuniites for exploring and growing our UU identities. We’re going forward into the new church year lifting up our parents and guardians as the primary religious educators for their children. Our new vision includes building and providing resources and other supports for parents and guardians for everyday. During Sundays, we’re developing more of a small group ministry model for children and youth with more opportunities to develop spiritual practices, digging deeper into our UU roots and philosophies, and discovering how they want to live out our Seven Principles as UUs in their lives beyond Sundays. Look for updates in the coming months on how this is evolving. If you want to find out more about these exciting changes, join us on Sunday, September 10 after second service for a Religious Exploration Family Orientation and Community Building event. We will be gathering in the Stowe and Brown classrooms in the elementary wing. There will be information, family crafts and activities, and light snacks. Music, fun and fellowship will be had by all!
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Our Whole Lives Program
Continues to Expand at BUUF
This year, we continue to expand our Our Whole Lives (OWL) program by adding 1st-2nd grade OWL this fall. We will again be offering our junior high OWL program this coming winter and spring. With the addition of 1st-2nd grade OWL and senior high OWL in the fall of 2018, we will be offering comprehensive age-appropriate sexuality education with support for families for all school-age children and youth, 1st through 12th grade. This is an exciting expansion that has been years in the making and I’m so glad to finally be able to make it a reality! We have a phenomenal team of OWL facilitators ready and waiting to guide our children and youth through these highly acclaimed curricula. There will also be opportunities for parents and guardians to participate in facilitated small group conversations with me while their children are in their OWL classes. We are well on our way to being a beacon for sexual health, both physical and emotional, for families in our greater community!
If you have a 1st or 2nd grader, please join us for a Parent Informational Meeting to find out more about the Elementary OWL program on Sunday, September 10 from 12:45-2:15 in the Raible Room in the elementary wing at BUUF.
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BUUF Refugee and Immigrant Ministry
Betty Van Gheluwe
Through the BUUF Refugee and Immigrant Ministry I have discovered many existing community projects working with people from the refugee and immigrant communities. A couple of these partnering opportunities that may be of interest to the BUUF community for members to become engaged are:
Meet Your New American Neighbors – While working with local refugee and immigrant agencies the BUUF community will host events for New American neighbors to practice English, practice presentation skills for storytelling (Refugee Speakers Bureau), learn other cultures and/or share a meal.
Reclaiming Careers for High Skilled Immigrants and Refugees – With Global Talent of Idaho’s guidance, assist high skilled immigrants and refugees to reclaim their careers. The BUUF community would play a meaningful role in transforming skilled New American’s lives by sharing knowledge of the expectations, culture and best practices of the US workplace through conducting informational and mock job interviews.
If you are interested in these opportunities or want to know more about the BUUF Refugee and Immigrant Ministry stop by our table on September 17th after each service or sign up at the Hospitality table along the north wall of the sanctuary or email Betty.
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Spiritual Exercises: Living the Questions on Welcome
As always, don’t treat these questions like “homework” or a list that needs to be covered in its entirety. Instead, simply pick the one question that speaks to you most and let it lead you where you need to go. The goal is not to analyze what “welcome” means in the abstract, but to figure out what being a part of a people of welcome means for you and your daily living. So, which question is calling to you? Which one contains “your work”?
- Do you spend more time welcoming in gifts or keeping out threats?
- Can you remember the last time you truly “widened the circle”?
- Might widening the circle mean you stepping away form the center?
- Do you know yourself well enough to know where you belong?
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“Brave Space”
by Micky ScottBey Jones
Together we will create brave space
Because there is no such thing as a “safe space.”
We exist in the real world
We all carry scars and we have all caused wounds.
In this space
We seek to turn down the volume of the outside world,
We amplify voices that fight to be heard elsewhere,
We call each other to more truth and love,
We have the right to start somewhere and continue to grow.
We have the responsibility to examine what we think we know.
We will not be perfect.
This space will not be perfect.
It will not always be what we wish it to be
But
It will be our brave space together,
and
We will work on it side by side.
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